Monday, November 08, 2004

“I have mated with Brian Harvey”.

Not me, you understand, but someone who felt sufficiently delighted by the act, or the thought of the act, to write it on a metal fence down Shardeloes Road in New Cross. I have to pss it most days and it snags my mind whenever I pass. Presumably this refers to the former E17 singer and celebrity Brian Harvey, not the Computer Science author or American motorbike enthusiast.

I think what makes this bit of graffiti my favourite in New Cross in the glee in which it is written and the sheer animal brutality of the words. Look at
Brian Harvey, as the anonymous New Cross street artist would suggest, you probably would not have Brian Harvey ‘make love’ to you, neither would you ‘tumble’, ‘tangle’ or ‘share a moment of passion’ with, in my own opinion, Brian Harvey. ‘Rutting’ is for the noble stag, ‘bonking’ is for fluffy-bunnies and ‘romping’, that favourite tabloid pseudonym for sex, is what teddy-bears do in the woods after a boozy picnic in mid-Summer.

One would ‘mate’ with the bull-terrier like
Brian Harvey, the ‘act’ being pinned down perfectly in the statement.

4 comments:

Neil-NewX said...

I always imageine mating to be something they do on the Discovery Channel related to breeding, i.e. with some instinct-driven will to breed. Does this mean there's an offspring of this union around. Incidentally, a friend of mine's first snog was with one of Bros when they were starting out in Peckham.

Skitster said...

Bros are from Camberley, not Peckham! I named my first fanzine, which was not unlike this blog but made of paper so you could take it on the bus, 'The Gossville Arsonist' after them, the idea being that we would burn down Camberley and everything the Goss brothers stood for.

Though this could be other of those strange connections that happen sometimes. Which one did you mate snog? Matt or Luke or couldn't he/she tell?

Neil-NewX said...

Well there is a Lewisham, Peckham and Camberley Bros triangle. This from http://www.mysouthwark.co.uk/southwark/celebs&gossip-music.htm: "Twins Matthew Weston Goss and Luke Damon Goss were born in Lewisham, 29th September 1968. They met Craig Logan at Camberley Comprehensive School and it was there that they formed the rather cleverly named band Bros...
During this high point in their career fans would camp outside their mother's house in Peckham, where she lives to this day"

Neil-NewX said...

Oh and by the way I'm not sure who she snogged, but it was one of the twins. She became a lesbian later, so it obviously wasn't all that.